The best choice is always the hardest decision.

So, to begin… I’ve had every intention of using this a lot more often than I have.  Maybe I’ll be able to change that now? We’ll see.

To the point of this post.  I’ve decided to move back home to Virginia in May.  This has been one of the most difficult decisions of my life I think.  There’s nothing wrong with moving back to Virginia, it’s just that I don’t feel ready to leave the experiences I’ve had here in Florida.  Moving back will give me the chance to work and save up money and get to do a lot more traveling than I would get to if I stayed down here.  So in the end, I’ll get to have more experiences and adventures by moving back.

In the end, the pros outweighed the cons.

I think the decision was made worse by being offered a part-time transfer with Disney.  Had I been staying I would be working Merchandise on Main Street at the Magic Kingdom.  I would have been at the Confectionary, which sounds PERFECT.  And then yesterday I had an interview with Universal to work at the Wizarding World of Harry Potter that went extremely well.  So while things were working out perfectly in regards to being employed if I stayed in Florida, other expenses just made it so it would not be possible if I wanted to feel financially secure at all.  I know I have friends and coworkers who keep telling me that it is totally possible to make it work, and they are proof that it does work out… But in the end I think I’d just rather not struggle through it just to say I got to stay and work down here longer.  I’m not in love with Florida itself. I love the people I’ve meet here, and I love the experiences I had and am grateful for it all, but in the end… staying in Florida just wasn’t the right decision.

I’m going to miss my friends so much. Between all of my roommates that I love to death who will be spread out across the country, to the close friends like Keila and Zach who I will also miss like hell…. It’s going to suck, but I can visit.  In fact I think I’m going to finally make it down for Geeky Con later this summer, so there’s that…

I’m so thankful for the experiences the Disney College Program has given me… I just can’t believe I’m officially leaving in a month.

Every beginning has an end, and every end is followed by a beginning?

My Timehop has recently been full of posts from when I was applying to the Disney College Program a year ago. It’s hard to believe that a year ago I was fully convinced I was not going to get accepted into the program, and now here I am a year later trying to decide what the next step in life is going to be once again.

I still remember the day I applied for the program, Courtney and I had gone to the Farmers Market in Colonial Williamsburg and I had received the email saying that applications were open.  I applied on a whim.  I think I was frustrated that everyone around me had some idea of what they were going to do with at least the next year of their lives, and even if it wasn’t their first choice…they had something.  Meanwhile I had nothing, no plans, and even worse: no idea what I even wanted to do.  So I applied.  I got the web-based interview, and then I got the phone interview.  I put that to the back of my mind while school took over, and then I had the phone interview, and it was time to wait.  By this time I had my hopes up that I’d get accepted.  I had something that would potentially be my future, at least until the following January.  The first day I was home for spring break I got the acceptance email, and after a pretty long heart-to-heart with my mom, I accepted my place in the program.  Even though that entire process took over a month, it seemed like an absolute whirlwind, I went from having no idea what I was going to do after Graduation, to knowing that I would be moving to Florida for at least four months.

October came around and I applied to extend my program from January to May.  I got accepted for that as well, and so here I am, middle wait, we’re nearing the end of February and I’m still in Florida, something I never thought I would say a year ago.

Now, I’m faced with the hardest decision I’ve made in the past year.  I have a love-hate relationship with Florida.  I really like my job, most days… or at least the perks… and I LOVE a lot of the people I know down here, I can’t imagine not being around some of them.  Granted, quite a few of them will be leaving in May or August as well, but some will be staying.  But I also miss home, I miss my family a lot, it’s tougher than I ever imagined being away from them.  I’ve managed to narrow my decision down to two major sides:

1. I extend my program until August, and then decide later on If I want to stay down here and keeping working at Disney/get a job over at  Universal.
2. Go home in May, pick up a few jobs and be able to save significantly more money than I could with my lifestyle and cost of living in Florida, and potentially get to go to London to visit Courtney before she moves wherever the world takes her next.  And this would make traveling the world next year a much more likely possibility.

I can’t decide which would be the best option for where I want my life to go.  I have so many pros and cons on both sides of the list, that I get so stressed out I start to cry practically every time I start thinking about this decision.  It’s made worse by the fact that I’ve gotten pretty close to some of my new friends who started the program in the past month.  But then I remember that most of my friends won’t be down here in Florida past May or August anyways and…. I just don’t know what to do.  I can’t help but think I’ll end up regreting moving back home, mainly because I don’t have any idea where I want my life to go career wise, and I like what I’ve got going down here.  But then on the other side, I can’t imagine living away from my family for much longer.  I guess technically I could always move back to Florida in a year or two if that’s where life seems to take me?

Maybe I could convince my family to move to Florida and I’d end up with the best of both worlds?

….Yeah, maybe not.  But I’ll just go keep on making pro and con lists while I wait for the deadline to pop up for me to make this decision… maybe by then I’ll be able to convince myself of which would be the better decision for me? Maybe I’ll just become a nomad and travel everywhere instead.